Who Carries Me
If I Could Sing…
Who Carries Me
A song that came out of What They Call You For.
The Question
Who carries the person everyone else calls?
The question stayed with me after What They Call You For was finished.
From the essay
After I finished What They Call You For, one question stayed with me:
Who carries the person everyone else calls?
I kept thinking about it after the essay was finished.
And somewhere in there, I started wondering what it might sound like as a song.
There's only one problem.
I can't sing.
So this is Who Carries Me — or at least what it might sound like if I could.
Lyrics
Read the lyrics
Verse 1
I answer every call with a steady voice
Even when my hands forget they have a choice
Your emergency, my calendar rearranged
I say, “I’ve got you,” while I quietly change
The kettle clicks, the apartment settles down
I leave one lamp on in an otherwise empty town
There’s a list by the sink with my name at the top
I cross out another thing, but the asking doesn’t stop
Pre-Chorus
I’m not angry, I’m just running low
There’s only so much weight a body knows
Chorus
Who carries me when I carry everyone?
Who hears the silence after I say, “It’s done”?
I keep the ceiling from falling, keep the door unlocked
But nobody asks what the keeping costs
If I put this down, will the whole room come apart?
Who carries me when I carry everyone?
Verse 2
I know which friend is lying when they say they’re fine
I remember every deadline except the ones of mine
My brother needs a ride, my mother needs a plan
I make myself available before I understand
There’s a tired little tremor underneath my breath
Not a crisis, not a failure, just a warning I’ve neglected
So I sit beside the window with my coat still on
And let the night be ordinary until the pressure’s gone
Pre-Chorus
I’m not angry, I’m just running low
There’s only so much weight a body knows
Chorus
Who carries me when I carry everyone?
Who hears the silence after I say, “It’s done”?
I keep the ceiling from falling, keep the door unlocked
But nobody asks what the keeping costs
If I put this down, will the whole room come apart?
Who carries me when I carry everyone?
Bridge
Tonight I won’t explain the quiet
Tonight I won’t turn it into proof
If you need me, leave a message
I need one night that belongs to me too
Final Chorus
Who carries me when I carry everyone?
Maybe I can let the morning find me undone
Let the ceiling hold itself, let the locked door stay locked
Let somebody learn the price of what I’ve got
If I put this down, maybe I can feel my heart
Who carries me when I carry everyone?
Outro
I’m still here
I’m just not reaching first
I’m still here
Let the silence do its work
Where It Started
What They Call You For
Who Carries Me grew out of Episode Four of The Carrying — a letter to the person everyone knows they can call.
Listen to the original essay →